Many of us will experience separation or divorce during our lives. Not all relationship break-ups will be the same, however, as some will be amicable and straightforward, while others can be fraught and complicated. Experiencing the latter can adversely affect a person’s life in a lot of ways, which is why one should go through this phase prepared.
Whether it’s you who’s going through a separation or divorce, or it’s someone you know, it’s good to figure out what might happen during this difficult time. Going through separation or divorce is not easy because this will result to drastic changes in your life, which you’re expected to adapt to in time. This is especially true if you’ve been with your spouse for years and have become parents.
Below are just some of the things someone going through such life events should think about.
Having support from others is crucial when healing after a divorce or break-up. You may want to be alone, but it could make this time more difficult if you isolate yourself — so don’t try to do this alone.
It’s a good idea to meet up with friends and family members you can trust. Talking with those who have been through these painful situations can be helpful. Spend your time with people who value and support you because it’s important to be honest about what you’re experiencing without worrying about being criticised, judged or told what to do. Get other help if you need it too, such as from a counselor or a support group, or go out and meet new people.
Being surrounded with people who will support your decision will make it easier for you to go through this trying phase in your life. Having someone to talk to can also improve your mental health as you can keep stress and anxiety at bay.
Get Up to Speed on Your Finances
You can feel like you’re out of the loop if you separate and your partner was the one who handled your finances in the relationship. Get credit cards in your own name, as good credit will be the base of your financial well-being when you’re single. Also close your joint credit card accounts, because you can be held responsible for debts your partner may incur, particularly if you don’t have a legal agreement that states otherwise.
If your partner has been financially supporting you throughout the relationship, it might be best if you start looking for a job or running your own business so that you can support yourself or your children, if there are any. Your partner might still provide support to you as a responsibility, but it’s still a good idea to look for ways to earn on your own.
Getting up to speed on your finances can be challenging when you’re getting separated or divorced, but this should be a priority to ensure that you can continue paying for your daily expenses.
Get a Legally Binding Separation Document
If you can do only one thing, then this should be it. Such an agreement can list the terms you must abide by while you’re still legally married, but living apart. You should protect yourself financially during a separation.
The agreement should also include who is liable for debts incurred during this time, along with insurance needs, how to divide marital assets and retirement savings, and a waiver of inheritance. You should consult Divorce Solicitors for this agreement.
For you to go through the separation or divorce legally and easily, work with a family lawyer. A family lawyer would have years of experience in the law industry and handled countless cases similar to yours. He’ll make it easier for you to go through the separation or divorce as he can educate you on your rights and what documents are required from you.
Be Gentle and Keep Good Boundaries
Separation is rough on both partners. Therefore it’s important for you to be gentle where you can, even if you’re hoping for a reconciliation, or even you aren’t, but you have children to consider.
This is because the more animosity and anger that you bring, the less likely you’ll be able to get what you need. You should clearly say that you cannot be together, but don’t start picking up on previous discussions.
Moreover, showing negative behavior toward your ex-partner will have an adverse effect on your children’s mindset and behavior. You and your partner might no longer be together, but keep in mind that you still have to work together to help children adjust to the separation or divorce – and it’ll be challenging to do the latter if either one of you talks badly about the other.
Separation Doesn’t Need to Be the End
Some marriages progress from separation to divorce, as not all of them are suited for the long haul. Yet some can recover from separation and be stronger than ever. If you’re both committed, you can find a route forward together.