Why Americans Still Don’t Talk About Money

It’s no secret that money matters can be a major cause of stress for Americans, with more than 72% of adults experiencing stress or anxiety about money. 

Despite this, it remains a topic that’s mostly off-limits, even among those closest to us. This is due, in part, to the clinical nature with which the financial industry has historically treated debt. It’s been framed as a mathematical issue, not a human one — and families don’t sit around talking about math. 

As we’ll see below, this is beginning to change, and Americans are beginning to talk more about money. Financial institutions, too, are changing their approach, providing more human-focused services. With that said, some obstacles still must be overcome. 

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Older Generations Were Raised To See It As a Private Issue

Today’s world is shaped by the values of older generations more than we often realize. For older generations, money genuinely was a private issue, not something that you would discuss with others, even your family. People were hesitant to discuss salaries, how much they spent, or how much debt they were carrying. 

Though it’s beginning to soften slightly, we still largely live in that world.

There’s Fear of Judgement

The fear of judgment runs both ways. People who are financially doing well don’t want to come across as boastful. People who aren’t doing so well don’t want to be viewed as a burden. This is such an issue that it’s not unthinkable that adult children could have significant debt that their parents don’t know about, or parents have financial difficulties that their children don’t know about. 

Because there’s judgment across the board, avoiding talking about the issue tends to suit everyone. 

Debt Can Be Treated Clinically by Financial Institutions

Being in debt can feel like a moral failure, which is why people are hesitant to seek help, even when they’re struggling. 

But the most influential reason why people are hesitant to speak up is arguably because of how debt has generally been managed by financial institutions. As Alex Kleyner says, “the current system often treats debt as a math problem, but it’s really a life problem. People need to feel that their circumstances, goals, and dignity are part of the solution.” Throw in the fact that fewer Americans than ever trust financial institutions, and it becomes even more understandable why people find it risky to seek help. 

It Can Impact Personal Relationships

Money is one of the leading causes of arguments in marriages and families, and that can have significant ripple effects that cause even more stress and anxiety. Many adults learn not to speak about money circumstances, especially if there’s debt involved, because they equate it with arguments. Yet, the longer things go unsaid, the worse the situation becomes.

The takeaway of this is that conversations around money, while sometimes challenging, are important. From getting support from family members to finding the right financial institution that can help to put you on the right track, sometimes simply opening your mouth can lead to long-lasting financial improvements.