We all have both good and bad in our pasts. Of course, the good and bad might be from variance levels of intensity. It could be that some simply have bad memories they would rather not repeat, while some need active therapy or long-firm behavior change to overcome matters. The past influences us to a great deal, but one inspiring idea is behind it, we can change, and we can become better people because of it. It is never too late to change.
But of course, it’s naive to think that we can simply ignore the past completely, and that we won’t actively keep it in our minds for some time. They say time heals all, and to some degree this is true. The power of the present is that it’s continually redefining the past. For example, you might have had a long spree of no-contact with a family member after a feud, and since you started talking again and settled your differences, all of that animosity is forgiven, and lends some closer to that storyline.
But of course, even positive stories like this require the ability to manage the past effectively. We hope that the following guidance can help you develop positive methods like this in the long term:
Head To Therapy
People often consider therapeutic visitation as a form of self-defeat. ‘That won’t happen to me!’ we often think, until something truly unignorable comes up. But there’s absolutely no shame in heading to therapy, in fact it can be a truly worthwhile use of your money. Therapists aren’t know-it-all practitioners, and so finding a specialist can sometimes help you make more progress than you were expecting. For example, it might be that you gain a great referral for a combat veteran specialist, as they help you unpack forms of trauma that you might not know you had, and know the best tools to help you back into civilian life.
A great therapist can help you become more honest with yourself, talk through your problems, and more importantly help you feel truly safe somewhere at least once a week. You never know the strides you can make, and often good deals are given for introductory sessions. We would recommend you do that, because it can’t hurt.
Of course, finding closure is something that cannot always be achieved. But to the degree that you can achieve it, you might find this one of the most personally gratifying things you can do. Sometimes, even though it might sound insane, forgiving someone can help take a load off your shoulders. After a certain point, forgiving someone is something you do for yourself, not the other person, because holding onto those horrible feelings can feel like a poison.
But of course, closure isn’t always about forgiving and forgetting, and don’t let people tell you this is your only option. Sometimes, you need to find justice, or something amounting to it. To continue with our military example as before, it’s not uncommon for more and more soldiers to come forward with issues of the past. If they had used 3M Combat Arms Earplugs during their time of deployment, there’s a chance these faulty products have caused tinnitus or another audio issue. A simple lawsuit could potentially help you find the compensation you need.
Building The New, Not The Old
Often it can be easy for our neurochemistry to continually fall on the same thought habits and patterns. These patterns might not be the most helpful or rewarding for our daily lives. But it is possible to reset this process. Sometimes, overcoming yourself through the use of gentle meditation, exercise, and focusing on building new habits can help the old issues wither away, and for you to become a new person. It’s an old idea that people cannot change, but that’s just simply incorrect. Over the months and years you can become a new version of yourself, and for better or worse this could lead you in a positive or negative direction. But if you’re aware of this process, look to perfect the present day and go forward with your best of intentions, you can become much better off than you were before.
This is the mantra that follows people who are struggling with recovery, or those who are simply looking to get over trauma. With the right therapeutic contact, and the ability to find renewed growth in their hobbies or potential working environment, building the new and not the old can be a truly worthwhile effort for you.
With these tips, managing the problems of the past is sure to be a more realistic possibility.