Let’s face it, at the start of a new relationship, it is hard to keep your hands off one another. It is completely normal for this spark to fizzle away after time, it happens to the best of us, especially when life gets hard. A reduced amount of sex, routine sex or one partner initiating the intimate experience (often getting rejected in the process) are all signs that you could be going through a sexual rut. Sometimes, people can get to the stage where they don’t even see their partner in a sexual way. Another sign that things are starting to fizzle is a lack of care in appearance.
It is completely normal for passion and desire to be heightened at the start of a relationship and sex doesn’t have to always be easy and spontaneous. Like many aspects of a good relationship, great sex does take time, energy, and you need to put in some effort! So, here we are going to explore six tips to help reignite that sexual spark in your relationship.
Remastering That Chemical Cocktail
When you first meet, chemicals (such as dopamine and oxytocin) in your body cause that butterfly feeling when looking or even thinking about that new person in your life. To recreate these feelings, try doing something new together. This can be simple things like going to a different restaurant, taking a cooking class with each other or doing something new and fun that you are both looking forward to trying. Making a list or doing something that you have always talked about is a great way to reform a bond. Creating unforgettable memories together is not only good for your relationship, but it is good for you. If you feel happier and more optimistic about life, then that will bring positive energy into your love life.
More Kisses and Cuddles
Passionate kisses and long embraces are common at the start of your relationship, but these simple signs of affection shouldn’t be forgotten about as time goes on. Making sure you continue to kiss, hug and cuddle up together is a very important and necessary component when it comes to having a healthy relationship. Kisses and cuddles are intimate and can often lead on to even more intimate interactions. Plus, they release a lot of feel good chemicals into your brain and body which is perfect when trying to spark up your sex life.
Communication is Key
Instead of sticking on a film, focus on the your loved one who is sitting right next to you. Communication and conversation are extremely important in any relationship, but when trying to re-ignite a sexual spark, you need to make this a priority. Things can get very complicated if you don’t talk and express feelings towards each other. If something is wrong, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up. Whether it’s how you feel or how your partner is coming across, establishing the issue as soon as you can will do you the world of good. It is completely normal for people to overthink things which can lead to stress, anxiety and assumptions. So, sit down together and discuss your feelings in a mature and open-minded way.
The Good Old Days
Talking about communication, reminiscing about happy, simpler times or even unforgettable sexual experiences you’ve had together is a great way to strengthen your bond with your partner. Remembering what you had when you first met each other is a lovely experience to look back on together. It can help redevelop many feelings, both physically and emotionally. Looking back on those exciting times and how you felt during the beginning can really help you appreciate what you have now. These good memories don’t only have to be at the start of your relationship, but any life changing experiences such as moving in together, your first holiday or even buying your first pet together can be a really effective way to reintroduce that chemistry.
Listing Sexual Possibilities
Having a look through a sex book, discussing sexual fantasies or writing a list with each other is a great idea to bring back a spark. You don’t have to do any of the things you talk or read about and don’t worry about whether you want to do them or not, just discuss it together. Rating how much you want to try certain things on a list and sharing your answers to try and come up with something new can really strengthen the bond between you in the bedroom. Sex toys can be a great way to add something different in the bedroom without being too much. If you are a bit shy when it comes to purchasing such items, then shopping for sex toys online can be a discrete way to purchase these products. Making an effort to come across as seductive and freshening up your erotic connection can be triggered by the unknown. Breaking a predictable pattern is a brilliant way of adding an element of surprise which can help with keeping the desire in your sexual relationship alive.
Don’t Be Shy
Although people can consciously see that they need to make changes to benefit their relationship, talking to an expert to come up with ways on how to do it can also do you the world of good. There are sex therapists and sex coaches out there who would be more than happy to offer their professional opinion to help improve your sex life. They deal with and see all kinds of problems, so don’t worry about being judged or shy about expressing your feelings to them. These professionals don’t only offer expert support and guidance, but they have the ability to transform and save your relationship and this isn’t something you should be embarrassed about.
It is completely normal for the sex life in a relationship to slow down or stop completely – you are not alone and the good news is that you are not too late either. There are many ways to bring back that fiery spark between you and your partner. It just takes a bit of time and effort, but it is worth it for sure. You are with that person for a reason, you just need to rediscover each other.