Check Out My Newest Guest Post From Author Jen Kirkley PLUS Learn About Her New Book Willard DoGooder and the Trail of Friends & Enter A Giveaway! #WillardDoGooder ~

Rooted in Balance

Balancing family life, a medical career, and creative pursuits as a mother and author

Hello! My name is Jen Kirkley, wife, mother of 4 kids eight years old and under, physician assistant in cardiovascular surgery, and recently, author of the children’s book, Willard DoGooder and the Trail of Friends. Motherhood is a word that encompasses many titles, dreams, and goals. It is a juggling act. When I talk to friends, we frequently talk about various topics that always come back to: How do we balance it all?

Growing up, my parents encouraged my sister and I to try a variety of extracurricular activities. I am grateful to them for giving their time and support in various sports and arts, so my sister and I had the opportunity to see what we liked, and I tended to love just about everything! This carried into college and early adulthood. I lean more towards the free-spirited side, and enjoy being involved in different communities. One skill that I lacked coming into adulthood was balance.

When my husband and I were engaged, he sat me down for a talk. I vividly remember where we were sitting, his blue plaid shirt, and what he said. He was concerned that because I was so busy, and seemed to always say yes to other people, that he and our future family would get the leftovers. He loves my zest for life. What he did not love was the lack of balance in my life. Talk about getting my attention! I did not even realize how he felt because I thought I was juggling it all well, when in reality I was cramming quantity over quality. This started my journey toward balance.

My journey toward balance started with observing women who did this well. Over the years, I’ve continued to learn and build upon those observations. I use three questions that have helped me the most as balance checks in my life.

*Where is my tree planted?

*What are my glass balls?

*What is my mantra?

Where is my tree planted?

Now, this is not to say I learned my lesson and I’m a pro at the balancing act. It is a constant balance check. We all have our days of feeling inadequate, or times when our lives are in survival mode. My first question when I realize my world is out of balance is: Where is my life rooted?

A friend of mine who owns Silent Seeds Studio, often speaks of a great analogy about balance in motherhood using the imagery of a tree. You have your roots, trunk and branches. If your tree is rooted where you want to plant it, which for me is in my faith, then my trunk, which is my identity, will grow from those roots. My branches are my missions within motherhood, marriage, career, and talents. These missions (branches) grow from my identity (trunk). However, if my tree is upside down and I am not firmly rooted, then my identity becomes what I do, rather than who I am. Without a firmly rooted tree, balance becomes difficult. This imagery really resonated with me and, I think, is worth sharing. Where are you rooted?

What are your glass balls?

There is a popular analogy that has been discussed several times throughout history about juggling all the moving parts of our lives. I will quote it from an interview with Nora Roberts when she was asked by Jennifer Barnes how she balances writing and raising a family. Roberts said, “The key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass. And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic, and prioritize catching the glass ones.” Glass balls look different for everyone, but are the most important priorities. The plastic balls are those that can be dropped and have little repercussions because they bounce back. They are not permanently scuffed or shattered like the glass balls. Brian Dyson, in his 1991 commencement speech at Georgia Tech University, said when talking about glass balls, “If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

No pressure! Dyson was talking about glass balls in general terms such as family, friends, health and spirit. Sometimes glass balls do drop. We learn, put the pieces back together, and move forward. Nora Roberts talked about glass and plastic balls in more specific terms like being present with your kids when you pick them up from school (glass) vs. cleaning the house (plastic ball). I like both. I like knowing my three or four main areas in life that are most important, then on a daily basis prioritizing my tasks for the day.

What is your balance mantra?

Mantras in my life started from youth sports. My dad started this with me in high school when I had lost some confidence in racing cross country. He would have me choose a mantra to repeat during the race. You know what happened? Slowly it started to change my mindset. It is something I want to instill in my children because we are what we think. Mantras change frequently. You can have as many as you want. Currently, I have two: you are enough, and, honesty, then grace and flexibility.

You are enough I repeat to myself when feeling overwhelmed, in parenting territory that I am not sure how to navigate, at work or before an author event. I repeated it before writing this article when I was struggling to get started because, who am I to be an authority on balance? We are all enough, and, we all have wisdom to share that may resonate with someone.

Honesty, then grace and flexibility, is a new one for me. Honesty is a gut check for me to be honest with myself about priorities or a decision. Grace and flexibility serve as a reminder to give myself grace when something is not as I had envisioned, and the flexibility to change course if needed. Sometimes, if I stop and open my mind, the outcome is better than I envisioned, and, sometimes giving grace is needed to move on.

Grace, in Christianty, means something that is freely given, or underserved favor. Grace, as defined in the dictionary, has a few meanings: simple elegance, goodwill, or to do something honorable. For me, motherhood encompasses many things including marriage, raising children, work, and writing stories I feel passionate about. All which require balance and every meaning of the word grace.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Willard DoGooder and the Trail of Friends
Written by Jen Kirkley

Illustrated by M. Brayer

Ages: 0+ | 38 Pages

Publisher: Palmetto Publishing | ISBN: 979-8-82292-014-9

Publisher’s Book Summary: Willard DoGooder has trouble making friends in his new class. Things are just … different. One day, he spots a magical trail and sets out on an adventure, where he meets four new friends along the trail. Through these friendships, Willard remembers his teacher’s advice on how to think through differences and appreciate each other just as we are.

PURCHASE LINK

Amazon ~ Barnes and Noble ~ Bookshop.org

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jen Kirkley is a wife and mother of four who works as a physician assistant in cardiothoracic surgery. She lives in Louisiana with her family in a house they have enjoyed renovating over the past ten years. On a daily basis, someone in her home is usually dressed up as a superhero or ninja. Jen enjoys running, reading, tea lattes, and road trips.

For more information, visit dogoodbookseries.com