How to Handle a Cheating Spouse When Children Are Involved
Dealing with a cheating spouse is incredibly difficult, no matter the circumstances surrounding the situation, but perhaps one of the toughest situations occurs when children are involved.
For many couples, the concept of a partner cheating is one of the scariest things to envision regarding your relationship, yet it’s not altogether uncommon.
So how do you handle the situation when children are involved?
Confirm the Situation
If you haven’t already you may need to confirm what’s happening. Unless your spouse has told you he or she is cheating, you might even have to consider a private investigator spouse cheating. This can be an emotional situation, but you don’t want to risk confronting your spouse and telling your children unless you’re certain.
It’s best to hire an investigator early on because it can be relevant information for future divorce proceedings and custody situations.
Should You Tell Your Kids?
There’s no clear cut answer as to whether or not you should share with your kids if a spouse is cheating. It’s a tough call to make. First, there is the risk that a child is simply too young to understand, and in that case, it may be best to leave this out of the conversation.
On the other hand, if your children are older and you tell them, it could permanently damage their relationship with the cheating parent.
In favor of telling kids is the fact that you want them to know there is a reason you and your partner can no longer live together, and it has nothing to do with them.
It’s a personal decision, but regardless of the route you take you should make sure you’re doing what’s in the best interest of your kids rather than trying to hurt your spouse or as a way to vent your anger.
One of the situations when kids should probably be told however is when the affair happened between your spouse and someone your family is close with, such as a neighbor. Your child may wonder why they don’t have contact with that person anymore
Balance Your Needs with the Kids’ Needs
A lot of times when infidelity is involved, the spouse who was cheated on will throw themselves into making sure the children are doing well. They’ll make their kids their sole focus, both as a distraction and as a way to make up for what’s happening or protect them.
It’s important that you still make time to take care of yourself and consider your own needs as well. Kids are more resilient than we think, but sometimes when you let yourself be the last one considered for too long, it becomes tougher to be a good parent.
Finally, don’t be ashamed to speak with a professional who can help you. There are counselors who specialize in situations just like these, and they can be an outlet for you and also help you identify the best strategies to move forward and to move your family forward from the fallout of what’s happened.